Thursday, February 19, 2009
She's dead already. @ Thursday, February 19, 2009
Yes baby,
It's all my bloody fault.
I'm not a good girlfriend , I never was.
I never understand you ,
I never even give a fucking damn.
I really hope I was born retarded ;
I love you & thats all I really know.
It's always easier to plan ahead than it is to look back, and I guess that's why I never realized that love is a feeling, not a choice.
I'm sorry, really sorry -
I'm sorry for being so cold &; bring you down with my words.
It's all my fault ,
It's all my fault that We din't work out ,
It's my fault that arguements came out ,
And its my fault for avoiding you .
I'm sorry , I had no idea what to do anymore.
My eyes is off in another place, my feelings are still here ,
Eating up my heart ;
And weakening me in every way.
Maybe we love the pain ;
Maybe those arguements made us stronger, In the same time pull us down & drown us in pain.
This is my broken heart talking. This is my weak head, my shaky fingers, and wet eyes, my loss of faith in love, my aching stomache and lack of sleep at night, saying I miss you.. & I really do so (:
I wish I come with a warning ;
To warn you to stay away from me.
& I'll label my self 'weak'
Bringing those lies to you ,
Putting tears in your eyes
..Because I'm too useless to make you smile.
You're the only reason for me to wakeup from the nightmare ,
It's different when I push my hair back my ears
&
When you push my hair back my ears.
Every move you made, makes a difference.
I'm not going to lie about this anymore;
I break easily, I scar. I'm fragile. I get hurt.
I'm not bullet proof you know.
I wish you would know the real me.
The one which prefer staying at home most of the time.
The one which love running around the house eating sweets.
& the one which had her phone on her hands 24/7.
(: yes, thats me.
People said : Sometimes you just gotta forgive someone, Cause you know you can't stand not having them in your life.
I've been running around for the past three months going nowhere, without any direction.
I din't know what I wanted. All I know is that you were always in my mind, under my skin :)
Just because I'm not speaking to you,
Doesnt mean I'm not missing you ;
Yes, I admit. Sometimes I do feel like choking you to death but somewhere deep down inside, I'm always ready to forgive , Because I love you.
No matter how much it hurts to love someone ; Forgiving is a way to be better.
what would it be next?
I'm tired, really really tired ;
Too tired untill I can't even fight back to your arguements.
So, If you're trying to argue again,
Do go ahead cos I don't have the strength to go on..
I HATE YOU BUT I LOVE YOU MORE
P/s: You're right. Other girls do treat you better then I do ;
_________________________________________________________
*Edited post (:
Well, well, well..
I suppose to be in my lovely dreamland now ;
Due to my stupid shirt which made me can't sleep anymore, I decide to post about it XD
I was just putting one step away from my bed & suddenly my both leg got stuck between that oh-so-cantik shirt.
Which also made me fell and hit my nose on the floor T_T
And I felt something coming out from my nose.. liquid thingy..
OH ITS BLEEDING :D
..I don't care about the pain ><"
Nothing big also >__________<
Theeeen, Cos of my super itchy hands, I took few pictures to show you you you (:
& I actually wiped some of the blood on my oh-so-cantik shirt :D
Bacause I was over too creative.. I did this for someone :D .. With my blood ><"
Sorry ; I'm not strong anymore (:
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